Last weekend we moved into our new house. I finally get to build & finish a proper “nest” for the Mini. Babydaddy has been and still is the love of my life. That does not mean we never fight or have “lively” discussions. This weekend was a test case because let’s face it: moving is hard. Below an honest account of moving into a new house while being 7 months pregnant.
HOW CAREFUL PLANNING ENDED UP AS TRASH
I am a visually oriented perfectionist and control freak. Naturally I developed a very detailed planning for the move with a list of tasks, roles and responsibilities and priorities (in Dutch “een draaiboek”). After having to endure ridicule & laughter (“Seriously Floor, you really think people are going to look at this?” Or “OMG, it is 10 pages long”) , it sort of worked…for 1,5 weeks or so. I do not want to bore you with a long list of reasons why it ended up in the trash so I will stick to the main points.
- People in construction live in their own timezone. You have to reconfirm and reconfirm again and reconfirm again.
- Men prioritize differently (or so I think). They prefer all the useful stuff like cleaning the roof, moving stuff from A to B and painting the ceiling. Whereas women (at least this one) prefer decorating spaces, unpacking boxes in new IKEA closets (which would require babydaddy to put them together), nice lighting and cleaning stuff. I do not understand his priorities and he does not understand mine. In the end I surrendered and transferred all control to him. Unfortunately that means I have a clean while my coveted wardrobe collection is still in boxes. So be it. I will deal with it (eventually).
- Due to physical constraints I could not always finish all the activities I started. Backpains, cramps, pure fatigue etc. stood in the way of finishing groceries, supplies and other shopping list items. I needed more time than usual for everything. Frustrating but true.
DO WOMEN REALLY COME FROM VENUS?
Next to setting priorities differently, I experienced some additional challenges with the babydaddy. Whereas I was constantly making lists in my head and trying to organize/ prepare stuff, he was downstairs watching a soccer game on tv. I did not understand: how can he be so relaxed? How can he just ignore all the boxes around him and actually do nothing? I do not know if you ever saw the YouTube movie about the difference in woman and men brains but this seems to sum it up. Yes, he can switch off completely. That is probably a good thing, it reduces stress levels and makes him more happy (I am trying to accept this). Check out the movie below.
KING OF THE CASTLE SYNDROM vs NESTING BEHAVIOR
I am now almost 30 weeks pregnant and really, really, really experiencing nesting behavior. Having to put all my stuff in boxes, seeing it carried around (not always in the most careful way e.g. throwing glasses in a box seriously?!!), not really having a space that is yours: NOT the best combination with nesting behavior.
MY TIP: move out for a little while. I have stayed at my parent’s house for a few days and so did my friend during her pregnancy. It will calm you down (at least a bit).
But..there is a downside. In my mind, me moving out would give the babydaddy more incentives to finish up so we could come back. To my astonishment, he kinda likes having the whole place to himself and is developing all sort of non-desirable routines like leaving the boxers all over the floor or rearranging the kitchen cupboards to his favourite snacks are within arm’s length. Oh and the fridge is now stacked up with beer instead of food. Not at all what I had in mind. So I am moving back in, no lights, no closets and no electricity plugs and all (sigh).
MY TIP (PARTII): Move out for a LITTLE while and then move back in. Try and develop a new house routine together.
That being said: I really love the place and us in it. Yesterday I reorganized the nursery which was a lot of fun. I cannot wait for all of this to be really really finished and start enjoying it. Only a couple more weeks to go (or so I hope).